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Summarizing the State of the Union

By Ed Hoffman

It’s been one week since the President delivered a State of the Union address that rivals a campaign speech in terms of promises he can’t possibly fulfill. Free college, free childcare, mandated paid leave laws for all 50 states, a minimum wage high enough to support a family of four, and a new economy based entirely on the needs of the middle class and nobody else. Here’s why that last promise is flawed: The middle class doesn’t employ itself. The middle class is employed by the class above it. That’s not my opinion; it’s just the reality.

As for all the other promises, the only way they can possibly be fulfilled is by our nation transitioning to full blown socialism. I just don’t see any other way these goals can be accomplished, and I believe most thinking Americans would agree. That’s why I have no problem calling this President a liar. He has denied several times that he is a socialist (yes, he has – Google it), yet everything he promises is only possible if the capitalist system is completely overthrown and replaced by a European socialist structure. It’s evident by every policy he proposes (or forces on us) that he favors socialism; why doesn’t he just admit it?

If you missed the State of the Union last week and you can manage to stop worrying about whether Tom Brady was personally responsible for deflating footballs for a few moments, I’ll summarize the rest of the speech for you here from the perspective of the President:

  • It’s still Bush’s fault.
  • I’m claiming that America has more college graduates than ever, while simultaneously claiming that everyone trying to support a family is working a minimum wage job. Don’t question my logic.
  • In 2015, unions still aren’t strong enough (really?).
  • Infrastructure, research, education, and more words that make people think I care about furthering American progress. The bottom line is, you’re paying for all of it and you aren’t allowed to question whether your money is going to initiatives that actually work.
  • Tonight, I’m going to cure cancer. I’m that good.
  • You should start paying taxes on your investments, retirement income and inheritances twice, because I said so.
  • I know you all romanticize the idea of Cuba being frozen in time and I’m pretty sure most of you don’t realize it’s a nation of abhorrent human rights violations, so I lifted the embargo. Cue the applause!
  • If we pass new sanctions on Iran, they’ll move forward with their nuclear program. We should show them we’re weak, because that will stop them. This is what I call leadership.
  • Climate change is the biggest threat America faces. It’s totally real and we should care about it more than ISIS. Trust me on this.
  • Closing Gitmo means we’ll be safer than ever. That makes sense, right?

And finally…

  • Islamic terror? What Islamic terror?

Ed Hoffman is the host of the Main Event on AM590, which airs Saturday at 9:30 AM and Sunday at 4:00 PM. Follow him on Twitter @EdHoffman, and like him on Facebook by searching The Main Event AM590.

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